School Years

Second/Third Grade

4th Grade. I wore glasses at this point and was teased, so I took them off for this photo.

10th Grade

Senior Year as Drum Major, Fall 2001

June 2002, in my flip flops because they were against the dress code

I think my school experience was...interesting. Especially now that I live further north and I see how my experiences were quite different. I grew up in a small town where everybody knew everybody and your business. The air smelled like mesquite and cement, the sun burned through your skin nine months out of the year, and people spoke in such a slow, thick accent that molasses is the only way to describe it. My wardrobe is a point of contention between my husband and I because in my mind summer starts in March. I will wear flip flops with a coat.

Elementary school was fun and I liked most of my teachers, but now that I look at how that school culture was, I am not surprised that we had several suicides in high school.  The whole school--hell, the whole town was a clique, and you had to fit a mold. Being from Missouri, my parents tried their best to help me see through their bullshit. In the end I was fine, but I wasn't fine for a lot of years.

I felt that middle school was like swimming through cake batter. On the surface it looked sweet, but really it was fraught with exhaustion, anxiety, and struggle. My best friend through it all was Ashley. She and I were the cookies that didn't fit the mold. We don't speak much anymore, though. Our lives took different paths, and in most ways she is still doing her own thing. I found the mold that fit.

Finally, we were in high school. It really was a lot of fun. I had a core group of really smart, good people to spend time with and we were all in the same creative classes together. Because I fit the female stereotype of being horrible at math, I opted to take the literature, language, and music classes. They were my sunshine through the clouds.

After a few successful years in music, I began taking auditions. Before I knew it, I had been accepted into college on a full ride scholarship. I remember the day I got the big package and the award letter. I smiled for days. High school was intense and went by like a westbound train; loud, dirty, and fast.